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ofbathtubs:

( offline.

so far, my to-do list for tomorrow includes fixing a code flub, setting up my nav, and posting a couple of headcanons i’ve got floating around. like this for a starter, and i’ll add those to it !!

“Things You Should Absolutely Say During Sex” Sentence Meme

• Be a little more gentle, you’re going to break one of my snow globes.
• But whipped cream makes me break out.
• Did you also cry at that point 10 minutes into Up?
• Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to use those kinds of words?
• Do you know what some female spiders do after sex?
• Does this mean we’re married now?
• Don’t worry, my cat likes to watch.
• HASHTAG CLIMAXING.
• Have you ever considered coming in second so someone else can come first for once?
• Hi ho, hi ho! It’s off to sleep I go!
• I don’t know where you learned that from but please don’t go there looking for new ideas again.
• I think you have some mashed potatoes on your upper lip. Let me get it for you.
• I’ll tell you who I’m fantasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about.
• Is it in yet?
• Is it OK if I tell my friends about this?
• It’s nice being in bed with someone I don’t have to inflate!
• Just use your finger, its bigger.
• Maybe sex ed classes should tell people how to last longer.
• No, I’m not going to play you the flute while you’re going down on me.
• Okay, you be Mermaid Man and I’ll be Barnacle Boy.
• On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.
• Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
• Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!
• So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
• The safe word is ‘Michael Cera’.
• Wait, do I call you daddy or are you calling me daddy?
• What the hell kind of noise was that?!
• Wow, I never saw that in sex ed.
• Yeah my pets come in and out of this room all the time. Don’t worry about it.
• You look so hot right now. It is a bit hot in here, isn’t it? Let me open a door.

cittamemes:

_{[ Bold which is most applicable to your muse between the two options! ]}

• _{Book smarts OR Street smarts}
  
• _{Introverted OR Extroverted}
  
• _{Sensible OR Imaginative}
  
• _{Brave OR Foolhardy}
  
• _{Family OR Friends (trick question, to lacey, friends are family.)}
  
• _{Wrath OR Greed} 
  
• _{Sunrise OR Sunset}
  
• _{Indoors OR Outdoors}
  
• _{Night owl OR Early bird}
  
• _{Technology OR Old fashioned}
  
• _{Left-handed OR Right-handed}

Terrible Pick-Up Lines Meme

"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."
"Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face."
"Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?"
"Hey, want to play house? I could be the door, and you could slam me all night long."
"How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?"
"I do floors, doors, windows, and you."
"I wish you were a screen door, so I can slam you all day long."
"If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"
"Is that crotch sweat, or are you just happy to see me?"
"If I was a skateboard and you were a ramp, I would grind you all night."
"If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you."
"If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?"
"I’m tired. You’re tired. Let’s sleep together!"
"Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked."
"Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."
"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, 'Fuck it'."
"My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it."
"Remember my name. you'll be screaming it later."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. I like spaghetti, let's go screw."
"That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too."
"Wanna play some football? We can both be skins."
"What are you doing tonight? Besides me?"
"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."
"You are what you eat, and tonight I want to be you."
"You must be a cold shower, because I'd love to be inside of you."
"You must not have air conditioning because I'm your fan and you're turning me on."
"You remind me of my pink toe; you're small, you're cute, and I'm probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight."
"You wanna go skinny dipping in my water bed?"

Peek into my character’s past!

Send me a…

— 〆 for a childhood story
— ღ for a drabble about a romance/their love life
— ⌆ for a story about their family/home life
— € for a bad memory that still haunts them
— ✢ for a good memory that makes them smile

Or…

Send me a name/place/event or situation from my character’s past and they will just talk about that one thing.

derangcdarchive-blog:

Send me HC + a word and I’ll write a headcanon about it regarding my character.

( offline.

so far, my to-do list for tomorrow includes fixing a code flub, setting up my nav, and posting a couple of headcanons i’ve got floating around. like this for a starter, and i’ll add those to it !!

                       ❝ let’s play metaphysical i spy. ❞

twelfthdoctah:

“When you’re in high school… You try really hard to make everybody likes you. And when you do that you’re miserable, you’re in so much pain. You will never gonna make everybody likes you. Humans are judmentais and that’s something I have to deal it.“ Zoey Deutch

:

I’m going with you.